holy fucking shit!!!

Sex Will Make You Go Blind / Single? Under 30? You are in grave danger. Your government says so. Please, stop laughing

and i thought i was old, late in the game, when i lost my virginity at age 17. i felt so bad that i hadn't managed to do it before college. and then in college, it took me a few months to get the deed done. what a late bloomer i was. now, i see how lucky i was to be young then and not now. if i'd waited till 30 i'd have had so few partners by now i'd probably still be choosing them quite poorly. i'd still be dating cretins and would have no knowledge of my own body and oh, i cannot bear to think of the misery that would be life. i might even have the poor sense to get married again, and to the wrong person to boot! please tell me no young people take a word these lunatics say seriously. i hope they are getting some good laffs.

mark morford speaks

When Apple Rules The World / What does it mean when you really, really want to lick a new MacBook Pro, and swoon?

still here...

i've been silent for a while because my medications at one point rendered me incapable of writing, or even reading. it was a time of intense boredom. i worried if that was what it was like to be "functional" in the world because i did seem to be way more functional in other aspects of my life such as taking care of myself, sleeping regular hours, etc. but BORING...

anyway i'm a bit better now. which is a good thing because it's national novel writing month and i have to write 1,667 words per day (in novel form) just to keep up. and i'm doing ok! i think this is the first year when i've actually kept my word count up on a regular basis (i.e. i take days off occasionally, but i make up for them right away instead of waiting till the very end and then freaking out.) and sometimes i get a feeling that when this is over i might actually care to take this rough draft of a thing and mold and sculpt and pound it into something better. and then revise it. it is containing a lot of my most important thoughts.

or it might end up just being deleted or ignored, like the last two. it's hard to say. but i do know this: i'm never going to get a date by doing "nothing" with my life, but "taking time off to write a novel" might raise my status a little bit. and it's not lying so long as i actually work on it.

but the thing is, this nanowrimo project makes it easy because there's a looming deadline and an enormous community of people doing the same thing, so it's easy-ish to work on it every day, but it's really hard at the same time and all sorts of other things are left un-done and much procrastination happens. so when this is over, i don't know how i will find the motivation to keep working on it. without a deadline and an enormous amount of peer pressure, wouldn't i just hang out at night, and get things done during the day?

i don't know. we shall see. but i'm starting to suspect that the reason i'm not bored/boring anymore isn't just medication changes, but the beauty of procrastination. everything seems more interesting now that i shouldn't be doing it and should instead be writing my novel. like right now! i have not done my writing for today and it's 9 pm so i chose this moment to come here and post.

i'll come back and update you on my new hobbies sometime soon. right now, other procrastinationy things call.