mark morford, spritual advisor to the jennas

at least 80% of the time his columns speak directly to the questions haunting my spirit in a language that even i can understant. yes, little old me. he hits the nail on the head so many times, i wonder if he's ever hit his thumb & how badly or if he ever hit anyone else's thumb. i wonder how much love mail he gets compared to hate mail. here's the second-to-latest:

Death Death Death Death Death / This is your news. This is your news on a morbid high of tragedy and mayhem. Can you deflect?

i once dated an utterly fantastic girl named caterina, who had "been" with mark some long time ago before he got his ever-wonderful girlfriend and chose to be one-on-one with her (in commonspeak: monogamous.) so c. had to settle for being "friends" and the occasional lunch. it just proved how amazing she was though, that she was friends with mark morford, one of my most ever greatest writing heroes.

caterina disappeared on me much in the same way they all do, those girls. the girls don't exactly dump me, they just sort of drift off, make promises to "get together soon" and are then never heard from again. i suspect one of two things: 1) (the more likely) : i am quite terrible in the lesbian bed. 2) (the more comforting thought which yet leaves me with guilt for having not seen this and being such an inconsiderate dolt) my ex-friend emma sabotaged all my lesbian things-going-on by suddenly wanting me ever so badly and right in front of them. and me being such a sucker for a pretty face, could never turn her down. it may well have made my girlfriends feel slighted, or left out, or whatever. in my head at the time i was just so flattered - i was looking desireable to someone ever so hot. but emma only did that when i was with someone. if i was on my own and wanting her, well, she'd have nothing of it.

needless to say she is no longer on my short list. she's not even on my long list! she's nowhere on my horizon. for all i know she's been deported and all i can say to that thought is "hah."

see how i digress? at this moment i am actually caulking the tub.