sorry

did i say i was going to stop posting youtube videos? sorry, i didn't do it. they're just too convenient. also convenient is posting small photos directly from flickr. the diff is the youtube vids make my blog look bad. anyway here is my news. number one, world hoop day was on 7/7/07 and at 7 pm i learned that my grandma had died. so fuck you to the person who only rated my video of that day with one star. give a mourning person a break! i continued with the hooping because my mom told me there was no reason for me to fly down to kentucky with her, since my grandma hadn't wanted any sort of funeral or anything. well it turned out that there was a sort of funeral and everyone else was there and i felt really left out and very very sad but what could i do, it was after the fact. i will still get to go to her memorial in august.

number two, i have been looking for a job in a very half-assed way, basically because my money is running out really fast (and i am spending it even faster) and also i feel like it would make my life more interesting and maybe it would actually feel good to be a contributing member of society. but there were all those many years when i did work and for all those years i did not get to go to burning man because it always conflicted with the beginning of the new school year. ok so i don't have a job yet and this year i actually get to go to burning man! better yet, i get to go on the vegan bus! i was really surprised that they would have me. i am so used to not being cool enough for anyone's club except for the club i am too cool for. these guys are cool. i like them. and several are hoopers! so we will have a busload of hooping vegans... what could be better than that? oh... environmentally unfriendly? well it will be converted to run on used vegetable grease. so we won't use fossil fuels... at least that.

in terms of burning man itself i of course have never been there but i have heard all sorts of things about it and i know it's what i need to jump-start my system out of my rut and into a different kind of living. i am trying to pull together costumes now... and i dug out my precious jester outfit from my wedding, which i haven't worn since because i see it as so sacred, and i'm going to bust it out at burning man! i put it on to test it & make sure i could hoop in it... it's a little bit challenging because of the taffeta and the sleeves, but it's sooo cool. i also went to the salvation army with tracey to get skimpy clothes (it's supposed to reach 110 degrees during the day) and i ordered a PSI hoop and fake dreads for my hair (yes i did!) which my poor mother is going to have to braid in for me if tracey won't. so this is all that is on my brain, getting ready for burning man. and yet there is stuff going on before then that i'd better not forget about, like i'm cat-sitting for two people, and i have a visitor (michael) coming for two weeks. that is going to be weird. i'll be busy getting ready for burning man during his entire visit because we leave right after he leaves so i don't imagine that i will be a very good hostess, plus i am going to KY for my grandma's memorial right in the middle of his visit, leaving him alone in my apt. to his own devices.

lastly, my hooping really sucks. i have hit a plateau and can't seem to get past it. i need to learn some new tricks or something... i spend enough time staring at youtube videos but i don't have the short-term memory i need to then bring that over to the floor to try out for myself. i might get to meet one of my favorite hoopers, hadria, at burning man, and i really don't want to be sucky. i'm afraid she'll see megan in all her glory and the two of them will hit it off because they're both amazing and the same age and they both smile all the time and i will be left out and i really like hadria and want to know her!!! she has inspired me so much, i have spent hours staring at her videos! they mesmerise me! she is so cute and so fluid in her movements and she has so much - how you say - spunk. all that stuff that i am missing. oh why do i let my paranoid, insecure thoughts get the better of me? like i don't know what i have to offer the vegan bus crew. my therapist will be gone for 2 weeks and she gave me an assignment to come up with some ideas of what i have to offer. so maybe i'll be back here on the installment plan with some tentative answers.